My Biology Term Paper Allowed Me to Emerge From The Rut I was In
February 13th, 2010
My Biology Term Paper Allowed Me to Emerge From The Rut I was In
Sometimes I wonder where I fit it. Life is hard. I just want to know where my niche is. Where I can feel comfortable and completely myself. I don’t deal well with change. I think most people don’t. But in particular I have a really hard time functioning when my world is turned upside down. When I was eighteen my father passed away. It was so hard for me. To this day it was probably the hardest thing I had ever had to deal with in my life. I just couldn’t function. Daily tasks were just difficult for me. Waking up every single day knowing I would never see him again made me want to hurl. I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I really thought I was going to lose it. I couldn’t eat or sleep. I walked around in a daze and genuinely my life seemed meaningless. My best friend finally convinced me to go to a therapist who told me to write a biology term paper.
I assured my therapist that I had my own term papers to write daily. After all I had just started college. He convinced me that writing a biology term paper where I observed my characteristics and behavior would really help me examine where I was and where I wanted to be. I really thought he was a little off but I decided to give it a try.
Now term papers were something I could do. I was an English major. I knew the basic parts of a term paper. Introduction with a thesis, body with citations and an concluding paragraph that really wraps up the paper. I also learned very quickly during my first year in college that editing was most important. I always edited my research papers once, walked away and edited it again an hour or so later. You are guaranteed to get most or all of the mistakes this way.
I took a shot at the biology term paper. I began observing my feelings, constantly. I realized what triggered my sadness and what brought on my depression. I could still smell my father in the house I grew up in. His cologne was prominent in the garage and when I walked into my parent’s living room I still expected to see him sitting in his favorite chair. I realized I needed to make some changes if I was every going to have a normal functioning life again.
I started doing some critical analysis research on what to do with most of my father’s belongings. I donated some, sold some and just had to trash some things. As I jotted down how I was feeling during certain parts of the day I realized that my paper was serving me well. It really did help to recognize what exactly brought on the feelings I was having.
Life still was very hard without my dad. I still miss him to this day but my biology term paper really helped me get through it. The hardest part was realizing that yes everything was now just a memory. My dad’s smell, touch, eyes and the way he made me feel was all just a memory but I was so happy to at least still have that.
